Waiting for Emeril Story

You know it seems kind of funny how life feeds us so many strange things that we get to digest every day; food for thought I guess. A couple of days ago I was reading thru the San Diego Union Tribune and I came across a small ad in the bottom corner of the food section’s last page. It seems that super star Chef Emeril Lagasse the “Bam!” man is going to be doing a limited engagement book signing for his new book “Pot Luck”. Wowie Kazowwy, now that is something good that we all can chew on!

After discussing it with my wife who likes Emeril as well, we decided to make the trip up to Poway, California to meet the big dog himself. As the book signing day finally arrived, I was terribly excited to get the chance to meet the great one. Unfortunately my wife had come down with the flu, so I headed up to Poway on a solo journey. I loaded up our Honda CRV with my digital camera and a few of my colorful GregoArt tee shirts to give to Emeril, all in hopes that someday he might possibly wear one.

I arrived at the book signing about a half hour early, even though the traffic jam crawling up the 15 North at rush hour worried me a bit about getting there on time. Just as I arrived into the Costco parking lot, a nice lady in a brand new BMW sport utility vehicle pulled out of her parking space, offering me rock star parking. “Bam!” this is going to be a lot of fun. I excitedly spoke to the staff of Costco at the front door and they informed me that the line to see Chef Emeril was forming out back behind the building. They assured me that there were plenty of books for him to sign, including his new one. I gave the Costco girls a big thank you, and quickly walked to the back of the huge building and got in line, but I wondered in the back of my head if I should go back inside to get one of his books any way.

The long waiting line to see Emeril was already half way around the building, and the crowd was enthusiastic as you can imagine, occasionally hearing people mimicking Emeril’s catch phrase every minute or two, “Bam!” The line slowly kept moving forward, like the traffic jam that held me up for over a half an hour. It gave me a little extra time to review every little piece of paper and credit card in my wallet several times. Oh well. I guess it’s good to know those things, like expiration dates and such. It has been raining for an entire week in San Diego, and today is the first day that it has stopped, so the temperature is noticeably colder outside and you could visibly see the young and old fans shivering in the swirling wind. I thought to my self, its going be ok, because we are all going to get Emeril to sign one of his books for us today.

A half an hour fidgeting in line eventually turned into two and a half hours of waiting. The Costco people rallied together to try to keep the empty handed bookless crowds in control by offering raffle tickets for a free tail gate party. Forget about the tail gate party guys, how about some hot coffee for all of us shivering out here. A rumor came whispering down from the front of the line in front of us, that they were running out of books. What, how can that be possible for a guy who has written over a dozen books. Could it be possible that getting a signed Emeril cook book is going to be harder to get than obtaining Bruce Springsteen tickets? Have celebrity chefs really reached the same super star status as rock stars? Believe it or not, I actually got a Springsteen book at his last concert that we attended, and we didn’t even have to wait in line for God’s sake.

I finally made it up to the door, wind whipped and feeling a bit popsiclized, only to be told that they really were out of every single book that he has ever written. The back door Costco people were telling us something completely different from the front door people; oh and bye the way, no one can take any pictures either. We were told that we should have bought one of his books before we got in line! You knuckle heads have got to be kidding me, why didn’t you tell us that, two hours ago! Where is our Bam? Even General Tommy Franks who was here a couple of weeks ago had enough books to sign to accommodate his fans. The promoter and publicists should have told us to leave hours ago. Oh the joys of wasting time on your day off.

This whole ordeal kind of reminds of the fact that time really is of precious commodity, even if it is only frustrating time that you end up with. My feet hurt and I’ve got a pounding headache now from disappointment, as the ticking hands of the time clock are beginning to melt. I hope that Emeril and his unprepared publishers will make good on their promise to get all of us our signed books, since we left our phone numbers with them for safe keeping.

The line was over 600 people long still behind me when I decided to leave, but I learned a valuable lesson today. With no book in hand, no signature and no photographs allowed, I cut out of the line with my GregoArt tee shirts in hand. As I passed Emeril’s designated signing area, I noticed a little kid wearing a chef outfit and his father approach the table where Emeril was sitting at, and he said “Bam!” to the little guy. I learned today that patience is a virtue, and it is better to give than receive. A wonderful smile overcame the little guys face as he sheepishly replied “Bam” back to the great chef. I realized at that moment that it is just as good to be at the show, rather than not being there at all. We all love you Emeril, but we still want our signed books. After all, I still have your GregoArt tee shirts for ransom, so take some of that… “Bam!”.

Grego with the “Waiting for Emeril” melting clock painting completed October 30, 2004